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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148559">and hear the sound (as you fall)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pidonyx/pseuds/Pidonyx'>Pidonyx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Swan Lake Fusion, Kind of..., M/M, THE KILLJOYS ARE NOT MCR, i dunno what else to say this is just kind of bizarre, it’s a....a take on a swan lake au, very strange also im posting at like 4:30 am so idk if this is good</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:41:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pidonyx/pseuds/Pidonyx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ghoul only shows up in the evenings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and hear the sound (as you fall)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i’m pretty sure the things i write are just going to get progressively stranger, but here’s a modern-ballet-swan lake fusion au, with handwaved magical elements and dubious passage of time. this was spawned from an anon ask i got for an ask game about fics that seem like something i would write, and anon said “fic premise: funpoison ballet au, possibly with supernatural elements? very tender and sweet....yearnful.....” and i got thinking ok so how *would* i hypothetically combine all those different elements into one fic and now there’s this. i tried</p><p>for clarity:<br/>Alex - Poison<br/>Jamie - Kobra<br/>Diego - Jet</p><p>(feel free to come talk to me either on my main @ghostxraven or my art blog @ravenxbones on tumblr btw seeing as that is where this idea originally came from)</p><p>title is from heaven help us by mcr!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex ducks under a hanging branch, laden with snow. His breath hangs in the air, bag heavy on his shoulder, and if it were a couple months ago, they would have just headed straight home after rehearsal, back to their apartment and dinner and a warm blanket. But Ghoul only shows up in the evenings — Alex tried going by the park in the morning before class, and at their lunch break, and even on the afternoon one weekend — and Alex doesn’t want to miss him. Sure enough, next to the partially frozen pond, on their usual bench, Ghoul is sitting, in the same black denim jacket and t-shirt he’s worn every time Alex has seen him since they first met.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rolls his head back on the back of the bench to grin lopsidedly when Alex approaches, boots crunching in the snowdrifts. “Long time, no see.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex feels his lips turning up involuntarily. “Hi, Ghoulie. Aren’t you cold?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul shrugs as Alex settles on the bench, putting their dance duffle on the seat next to them. It’s already free of snow; Ghoul must have cleared a spot for them and their stuff before they got there, and it doesn’t help the fluttering in their stomach any more than having Ghoul’s warm smile directed at them. “Nah,” he says, eyes going a little shadowed like they do sometimes. “‘M okay. ‘S not too bad.” His expression clears when he focuses back on Alex, smile looking real again. “How was rehearsal?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex blows out a breath, relaxing against the bench. “Passable. ‘S not as rough now that we’re past Nutcracker season, y’know? Jus’ prep for Swan Lake and th’ Spring Gala in a couple months.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“An’ how’s that going?” Ghoul asks, voice going soft. It’s started to snow a little, flakes catching in his dark hair, sparkling like tiny diamonds. Alex raises a shoulder halfheartedly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘S going.” He drags the toe of his boot through the snow, carving a blueish crescent that instantly starts to fill again. “Kinda thought I’d get a better part than I did,” they admit. “Director’d kinda been hinting that I might be getting a lead, and then th’ cast list comes out an’ I’m still dancing th’ pas de trois and corps and that’s it. So, y’know.” They wind their fingers together in their lap. “Little disappointed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul bumps their arms together, and Alex thinks they feel the fleeting weight of his head on their shoulder for a moment. “Sorry ‘Lex. ‘F it makes you feel better. I think you’d make a hell ‘f a swan queen.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex laughs, hoping he’s not flushing too obviously. Maybe he can blame any color in their cheeks on the cold. “Thanks, Ghoulie.” They cast around desperately for something to say, to distract from how flustered even that brief moment of contact made them, landing on, “What did you do t’day?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul’s face falls a little, and Alex’s heart sinks. That’s without fail the one thing that he never wants to talk about, that’s always made him withdraw or get visibly upset, and Alex has learned not to bring it up. Ghoul drops his eyes back to the half-frozen water in front of them, where slight ripples are washing against the ice coating the shore. “Nothin’ much. I met a friend for lunch,” he says, with an odd twist to his mouth, something that’s only sort of a smile. “But nothing very excitin’.” The atmosphere over the bench has gone melancholy, silence hovering for a long, awkward moment. Alex reaches tentatively for Ghoul’s hand, feeling a spark of relief when Ghoul grips back firmly, squeezing where their fingers lace together. So they’re still alright, then.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul scoots a little closer, not quite leaning against them, but curled in Alex’s direction. “How’s your brother?” he asks, and grateful for the change of topic, Alex starts chattering about how Jamie’s been, and what he’s been up to, and what they did together over the weekend. He keeps his eyes focused on Ghoul’s face as he talks, trying to soak up every little detail about the way his lashes lay on his cheeks, the way his lips tilt as he smiles, only a slight pink to his face even with the freezing cold and slightly tanned even in the middle of winter, knowing that they might not be able to come back again for a few days. Their eyes wander down to where their gloved fingers are tangled with his bare ones, the pale strip of skin on the inside of his wrist with faint blue veins like lightning beneath the surface. Alex holds on a little tighter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They glance at their phone after it feels like they’ve been talking for a while, and jump. “Oh, shit, I’ve been here for like, three hours.” Now that he’s thinking about it, Alex notices the chill in his limbs, the stiffness in his back, the scratch of hunger in the pit of his stomach. Reluctantly, they get to their feet. “I should go,” he says, and Ghoul just smiles, expression resigned.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I know,” he says, and Alex can hear the </span> <span class="s2"> <em>I wish you could stay longer</em> </span> <span class="s1"> in his voice, sending a rush of warmth through their veins even as it feels a little like ice in his heart. Ghoul squeezes his hand once before letting go. “See you soon?”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I’ll try t’ come back again this week,” they promise, heart beating faster when that makes Ghoul’s eyes sparkle hopefully. </span> <span class="s2"> <em>I miss you when I’m not here,</em> </span> <span class="s1"> he doesn’t say. “Maybe I can bring Jamie by when I come next,” is what he says instead.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?” Ghoul says softly, that same sort of shadow falling over his face again. “That would be nice.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Um. Bye, Ghoulie,” Alex says, reaching out to clasp his fingers again briefly. </span> <span class="s2"><em>I love you,</em> </span> <span class="s1">“I’ll come back as soon as I can.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye, ‘Lex,” Ghoul says, and his expression is strangely wistful, dark hair and eyes getting swallowed by the darkness that’s grown around them since the night began as Alex slowly walks back towards the path, leaving only his face and hands, moonlike in the starlight. They hear his voice drifting through the still-gently falling snow. “Thanks for always coming t’ see me. I’ll see you around.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Alex looks over their shoulder again, he’s nothing more than a still black shadow, in the same spot where they found him, looking out over the ice-covered pond.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I think he lives in the park. ‘S awkward t’ ask if he needs help though. It’d be because I care about him, but I dunno ‘f he’d see it like that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay, wait, let me try t’ get this straight. For th’ last few months you’ve been what? Meeting a random guy in th’ park at night? Who won’t even tell you his real name? An’ you didn’t think t’ at least like, tell anyone so if you got murdered someone’d know where you were. Am I understanding that right?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex flushes. “It’s not...he’s not some guy, he’s my friend.” They fiddle with the hem of their top, stretching it and letting it snap back against the hem of their warmup pants. “I think you’ll like him,” he says, petulantly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie’s expression shifts. “‘Lex...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay! Okay,” Alex says, gritting his teeth. “Just...will you come with me after work? I told him I’d try t’ bring you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What ‘re we talking about?” Diego drops his bag next to Alex’s on the floor, starting to yank their curls up into a bun with the hair tie on their wrist. Jamie raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alex wants me t’ come with them t’ th’ park t’night, to see this guy they’ve been meeting up with.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aw, Lexy.” Diego’s grin is sharp. “Y’ gotta tell us when you get a new boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Alex rolls their eyes, kicking lightly at his ankle. “Shut up. I hate you guys. ‘S I was telling James, it’s not </span> <span class="s2"><em>like</em> </span> <span class="s1">that. So fuck off.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But not ‘cause you don’t want it t’ be,” Jamie interjects, looking smug, and Alex sticks their tongue out at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Diego shrugs. “Park’s nice, though. Picturesque and shit. I go there on my lunch break sometimes, y’know, an’ feed th’ birds the stuff I don’ eat. There’s a big ass raven that roosts there, it’s pretty cool.” They grin at Alex even while sliding bobby pins into their hair. “Perfect atmosphere for a date, real romantic.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘M gonna kill you guys,” Alex mutters, though he’s biting back a grin. He reaches into his bag for his soft shoes, trying not to smack their head on the barre as they bend down. “So?” They say over their shoulder, as imperiously as they can with their ass in the air. “Are you two coming with tonight or what?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Diego and Jamie exchange a look, then Diego shrugs. “Yeah, sure.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie snorts. “I wanna meet this mysterious park-dwelling hermit you’re so enamored with. ‘M coming.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys ‘re gonna like him,” Alex insists, as the ballet master finally enters the studio and signals for the pianist to get ready to go. “You’ll see, tonight. Promise.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">That evening, with much complaint from Jamie about the cold and </span> <span class="s2"><em>“Jeez, ‘Lex, you really go out and sit in a park for hours in this?”</em> </span> <span class="s1">they head out into the dusk, sun having already set a good twenty minutes ago and chill setting in fast. Alex worries — that Ghoul will be upset that he brought Diego as well, that he won’t get along with Alex’s friends, that he won’t be there at all — but the stress dissipates a little the second he peers through the evergreen boughs and sees Ghoul in his usual spot, looking up into the clear winter sky.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon,” he says quietly to Diego and Jamie, and then, more loudly, “Ghoulie!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul turns, a smile already breaking across his face. His eyes go wide when they land on Jamie, even more so when they dart across to Diego, mouth open like he’d been about to say something and was struck speechless.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I brought my friends,” Alex calls, walking closer. He stops just shy of the bench, where Ghoul is still frozen. “Is that cool?” he adds softly. “‘S jus’ my brother. An’ my best friend.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul looks up, and Alex is startled and alarmed to see that his eyes are shiny like he might be about to cry. Then he beams, and it’s like the goddamn sun coming out in the middle of the night, so bright and blazing Alex gets caught breathless, swallowing against the sudden tightness in his throat. Ghoul scrambles up from the bench, and before he knows what’s happening Alex is enveloped in a warm, tight hug that smells like cold air and crushed dry leaves. They hide their burning face from the curious, amused eyes of their friends by burying it in Ghoul’s hair, which is remarkably clean for someone he’s pretty sure lives outdoors.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you,” Ghoul says, in their ear. “I, um. Don’ have a lot ‘f friends. Besides you, ‘f course, but. Thank you, thanks, ‘Lex.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex thinks they’re probably still the color of a raspberry when Ghoul pulls back and turns excitedly to Diego and Jamie, who’ve cautiously stepped closer, hovering next to the pond. “Hey,” he says, tone much more reserved than the energy vibrating off of him, almost nervous. “Uh, you guys are Alex’s friends, yeah? ‘M Fun Ghoul.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie raises an eyebrow. “Assuming that’s not your real name, then?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul goes a light pink. “Um. No.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t elaborate, and Diego gives Alex a strange look over Ghoul’s shoulder, but Jamie tilts his head consideringly for a few seconds, and then says, “Cool,” and sticks his hand out for Ghoul to shake. “‘M Alex’s brother. Jamison, but all my friends call me Jamie.” He grins, and Ghoul grins back, gripping his hand with enthusiasm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Diego steps forwards, then, looking a lot more comfortable, taking the hand that Ghoul offers and using it to yank him into a familiar hug. Alex is struck with the dual urge to laugh and cry when Ghoul pulls away looking starstruck, like he doesn’t get that kind of casual contact usually and can’t believe anyone would just give it freely like that. “Diego. ‘Lex is my best friend.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘S really nice to meet you,” Ghoul says, and he looks so sincere that Alex’s heart aches. “‘Re you guys all in th’ company?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep,” Jamie says. “‘M in the corps, Diego’s a principal, an ‘Lex is a soloist. Though ‘s looking like Alex might be getting promoted, soon.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, tell that t’ casting,” Alex mumbles, and Ghoul gives him a look, something both gentle and sharp at once.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ll get ‘t eventually. You’re brilliant, they’re gonna notice that soon.” Alex feels themselves going pink, and adjusts their scarf up higher to hide it, noticing Jamie’s eyebrows creeping towards his hairline over Ghoul’s head. He rolls his eyes at them, crossing his arms.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right,” he says. “Hey, Ghoul, ‘Lex told you ‘bout the charity thing we did last weekend, right?” Ghoul grins. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! Hey, so tell me ‘bout the—”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex watches them fondly, Ghoul’s enthusiasm and Jamie’s increasingly sweeping hand gestures and Diego interjecting with commentary or a new detail, which then sets off another round of “Oh, that reminds me”s and “Wait, no, you’re totally gonna love this”s. Ghoul is lit up in a way they’ve barely ever gotten to see, the kind of general air of gloom that is usually so present with him melting away, and he really is beautiful — real happiness suits him. Alex just wishes they could bring it out in him more often.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a while, Jamie mentions popping into a coffee shop for a bit, bringing something back. When they disappear through the trees, Ghoul looks over at Alex and his eyes are shining. He reaches out to wind their fingers together, warm against the chill of the winter air, and Alex watches their breath fog up into the starry sky overhead and tries not to think too hard about the way Ghoul is holding his hand, thumb absentmindedly stroking back and forth over the back. After a little bit, Ghoul tugs gently on Alex’s arm with their linked hands, smiling like Alex brought him the sun as a present, like Alex is something really special. It makes their lungs tighten, heart beat a little faster. He hopes Ghoul can’t feel it fluttering in his wrist when they squeeze his hand in return.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you,” Ghoul says softly. There’s something a little fragile in his tone, like frost patterns on the windowpane. “Your friends ‘re really cool.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Alex laughs a little nervously, biting at their lip, chapped from the cold. “They are. An’, uh, they’re your friends now, too, so, y’know. </span> <span class="s2"> <em>Our</em> </span> <span class="s1"> friends are cool.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul grins, eyes creasing at the corners. He reaches up to hold Alex’s face in both hands, and Alex’s breathing goes shallow. “I mean it though. Thank you, I — you’re kind’ve one ‘f the best things t’ happen to me. Y’ didn’t have t’ do any of this for me, bringing me stuff, introducin’ me t’ your friends...I gotta...I gotta tell you something. Uh, about me. ‘S important, an’, an’ I wanna tell you, ‘s just.” His thumb ghosts over their cheek, and Alex feels like he might be getting closer, and his eyes are wide now, close enough to notice individual layers of brown and near-black in his irises. He breathes out softly, and Alex can feel the brush of air against his skin, almost a sigh but not quite. “‘Lex — “</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re back,” Jamie says from somewhere behind him, and Alex is going to commit murder. Ghoul’s eyes spark briefly, mouth tugging up into a tiny smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell you later,” he says, and he’s put a much more respectable amount of space between them when he turns to take the coffee and donut that Jamie’s holding out for him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck,” he whispers, eyes going big. “‘S this a cider donut?” The noise of delight Ghoul makes when he takes the first bite, sprinkling granulated sugar on his fingers, lap, and chin, makes Alex go pink, and he busies himself with his own cup and donut, picking chunks of pastry off to dunk just to give his hands a distraction. “I haven’t had one ‘f these in forever,” Ghoul mumbles around the food in his mouth. “Dude, thank you, y’ didn’t have t’ get me anythin’.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie nudges Ghoul’s head with his hip, leaning against the backrest of the bench. “Wasn’t gonna jus’ leave you out, ‘s cool. Plus, ‘Lex woulda yelled at me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kick rocks,” Alex mumbles, and Ghoul laughs, bright and a little choked, hair falling over his face. He scoots closer on the bench to press their shoulders together; Alex ignores the pointed look Jamie gives him over the lid of his coffee cup and leans into Ghoul’s body heat, where they can feel the texture of his denim jacket through their own down winter coat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ghoul smiles up at him, sugar still caught at the edge of his mouth, and his lashes flutter when Alex tentatively reaches out to brush it away, and </span> <span class="s2"> <em>this is not fair</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>.</em> Alex snatches his hand away when he remembers that, </span> <span class="s2"> <em>duh</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>,</em> they have an audience, but they already know they’re never going to get to live this down.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure enough, a few hours later, when even Alex can’t ignore the biting wind and the fact that he hasn’t eaten dinner yet and they’ve said goodbye to Ghoul, Diego elbows them, almost throwing them off the sidewalk.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit, you’re way more gone on this guy than I thought.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex stumbles back onto the pavement, rubbing their assaulted arm and ignoring the previous statement.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No fucking kidding,” Jamie chimes in. He slings an arm around Alex’s shoulders, kicking at the piled up snow with a boot as they walk past. “You looked like you wanted t’ fucking melt into a puddle every time he even looked ‘t you.” Alex kind of wants to melt right now, though it’s more out of embarrassment than anything else. Jamie tugs on the back of their scarf. “Why don’t y’ say anything? Ghoul‘s cool, I like him, he’s not gonna be a jerk. Why not jus’ tell him how you feel?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex picks at a loose thread on their gloves. “He wouldn’t like that, James. I don’ wanna lose his friendship, ‘s important t’ me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure?” Diego says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Seemed t’ me like he was pretty into you, too.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex flushes scarlet immediately. “Really?” he squeaks, and Jamie cuffs them on the back of the head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, yeah. He kept giving you all these little looks. And touching you. That’s flirting, ‘Lex.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh,” Alex says, dumbly. “You really think so?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2"> <em>Yes</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>,</em>” Jamie and Diego say emphatically in unison, and Alex can’t stop smiling all the way out of the park.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ghoulie, Ghoulie, Ghoul,” Alex is out of breath from practically running all the way to their spot next to the pond, and Ghoul is on his feet, meeting them halfway. Alex crashes into him, throwing their arms around his waist, pressing their wide smile into his hair.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, what?” Ghoul sounds confused, and when Alex leans back he looks worried, tentative smile pulling at the corner of his mouth like he’s not sure it would be appropriate. Alex beams, hands fluttering up to Ghoul’s arms, squeezing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, so I got a call from th’ artistic director, and one of the principals broke her ankle, they want me to understudy for her role last minute,” Alex blurts, watching as Ghoul’s face transforms, eyes sparkling, radiant grin making them crease up in the way that makes Alex’s heart kick into overdrive.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Lex, wow, holy shit, that’s great,” his expression is breathtakingly sincere, hands resting on Alex’s shoulders. “I fucking knew it, I knew they’d finally see how fucking amazing you are, I —“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex can’t take the way Ghoul is looking at him anymore, strung out on adrenaline the way he is, and before they can think about it, they ball one hand in Ghoul’s black denim jacket and shove another through his hair, yanking him towards them, pressing their mouth to his.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul startles, and freezes, but right as Alex is starting to panic, he sighs brokenly into the kiss and brings his hands up to cradle their jaw in a weird deja-vu echo of the other night, kissing back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex is pretty much on fucking cloud nine. Ghoul is pressed up against his front, breathing heavy, soft breaths against his lips, hands warm against Alex’s wind-chilled cheeks, velvet-soft mouth sliding against his. He isn’t sure how long they stand there, kissing desperately in the piled snow, but it isn’t until they part, simultaneous and slow, that he remembers the reason why he came to see Ghoul tonight.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um,” they say, voice hoarse. “So, ‘m not gonna be able to come see you for a while, because ‘f the extra rehearsals I’m going t’ have to do.” Alex was expecting it, but it still makes his stomach twist when Ghoul’s face, predictably, goes a little soft and sad, and they hurry to pull the envelope they brought out of their pocket. “But, uh, I’d — I’d really like it if you could come t’ opening night? I — I dunno if you can, but — I got you a ticket, for my firs’ show, it’s in th’ evening, when we’d usually hang out anyways, an’, an’ I really...I’d really like t’ see you there, Ghoulie, if you can come.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul takes the proffered envelope, carefully, clasping it between his fingers almost delicately like it’s made of glass rather than paper. He looks at the front of it, where Alex has written Ghoul’s name and put a smiley face and a (apparently not hopelessly optimistic) heart, for a long moment. Then he pulls Alex back in, kissing him fiercely, arm slung around the back of their neck.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll try, ‘Lex,” he says when he pulls away, firmly, something sharp sparking in his eyes, underlaid by that same despondent shadow. “I — I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Alex says, softly, and kisses him again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is he out there?” Alex asks as soon as Jamie’s slipped into their dressing room. They’re nervously picking at the layers of their tutu, fiddling with their headdress, anything to take their mind off of the fact that they kind of want to throw up from nerves.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jamie smiles slyly. “He is. Third row, center, right where you said his seat was.” He leans in to squeeze Alex’s shoulder, adjusting the white fabric draped across them. “He dressed up an’ everything. Gotta say, he’s pretty fuckin’ charming, you’ve got good taste.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He is,” Alex says, softly, and has to turn his face away under the guise of fixing his makeup so Jamie won’t see him grin, flushing under the layers of foundation and white powder.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He keeps an eye out, during his first entrance, brief and relatively free of any actual complex dancing, but with the lights and the fact that he’s looking for a figure dressed in solid black in a pitch black theater, he doesn’t manage to pick Ghoul out in the crowd. Peering out from the wings afterwards, though, waiting for the birthday scenes to be over, a flash of white in the audience catches his eye.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the third row, exactly where Jamie said he was, Ghoul is sitting, dressed in a pressed white suit. Alex’s heart skips a beat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their eyes keep drifting back to him, a pale beacon in the center of the darkened theater, even as the ballet progresses and they’re concentrating more on the story, and dancing, than on consciously looking for him. They use him as a reference point for center during the Act 1 variation, to spot during their fouettés in Act 3, and when they’re making their final leap off the set-piece cliff as the final crescendo swells, he spares a glance for the prince, but his eyes are mostly for Ghoul. As soon as the final bows are over, adrenaline humming in his throat, Alex is hurrying for the dressing room, barely taking the time to hang the tutu back on the rack so it won’t get wrinkled or flat and yank on sweats before he’s heading for the lobby, still in his makeup.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul is there, in his pristine white suit, white shirt and white tie and polished grey dress shoes, and he apparently combed his hair because it’s clean and glossy and out of his face. He looks lovely, but it’s slightly jarring, how different he looks from when he’s in his rumpled black jacket and jeans, hair tangled and falling in his eyes. Alex catches their breath.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, Ghoulie,” he breathes, when he’s crossed the room, standing in front of him with their hands clasped in front of their zippered hoodie. Ghoul looks up, and smiles, with just the corner of his mouth tilting up. He’s got his hands in his suit jacket pockets, head angling slightly to the right when his eyes meet Alex’s.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t say anything else, and Alex feels a little awkward, picking at their thumbnail. Silence hangs heavily for a few seconds, until Alex says, “‘M really glad you could make it.” He tries to make the words sound as heartfelt as he means them, and maybe Ghoul hears it, because his smile gets a little wider. “I, um,” Alex gestures at the tailored suit he’s wearing. “I didn’t know you had anything like that,” he says, feebly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul shrugs. “I thought I’d pull it out.” He gives Alex a coy look from beneath his lashes. “I wanted it to be special for you, since it’s your debut.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yeah?” Alex says, softly, but the sentiment doesn’t make him flush, like it would usually. His blood feels a little chilled where it’s pumping through their veins. He considers Ghoul for a long while. He’s not sure what it is, but there’s </span> <span class="s2"> <em>something</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>,</em> either in the sharpness of his smile or the angle of his shoulders or the way he’s holding his weight or in the way he’s breathing that’s off. It’s not an earth-shattering revelation, more like a cold certainty. “You’re not him,” they say softly. It’s not a question.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The person or thing wearing Ghoul’s face and body and voice smiles again, maybe a touch more genuine than before, though still frosty. “You’re a quick one, aren’t you?” They turn away, Ghoul’s dark hair falling over the white fabric of their jacket. “Kept you long enough, though. Good performance.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Alex blinks, and they’re gone, like they were never there, but there’s an iridescent black feather crushed into the plush lobby carpet and Alex’s lungs seize. Logically, nothing’s making sense anymore, and people don’t disappear or look like other people so completely or...</span> <span class="s2"> <em>turn into birds</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>...</em>but if their life is going to so ironically become a genuine, real fairytale then magic isn’t too far of a stretch. Nor is the logical — it’s not rational, but fiction and reality are starting to blur a little — conclusion to make, if Alex is to believe in what they think is happening. They have to get to the park.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Their legs can’t run right now — they’re practically numb, feet as well — but the half-limping speedwalk pace they end up with is decent enough, streets cold and icy and illuminated orange under the lamps along the sidewalks. Their duffle bag thumps against their hip on every exaggerated stride, but they don’t dare take the time to try and find Jamie or Diego and dump their things with them. His mind is racing. It all adds up a little too well: the moonlight meetings, the fact that he never seemed to leave the park, the way Ghoul’s face would fall if Alex ever asked about what he did during the day. It’s following the story beats mark by mark, and it’s crazy to think about, because that sort of thing doesn’t </span> <span class="s2"> <em>happen</em> </span> <span class="s1"> in real life.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even though they’re kind of expecting it, it still makes their blood freeze when they push through the fir boughs and there’s a dark shape curled up in the snow. Heart in his mouth, he pushes forwards, kicking drifts out of the way and spattering the hemline of their cotton pants. It’s Ghoul, flakes twinkling in his hair, in black feathers that are either tangled in it or part of it. He’s still as a statue, and it isn’t until Alex sees the slight rise and fall of his shoulders, under two massive shiny black wings, that they feel able to breathe themself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They fall to their knees next to him, ignoring the snow that immediately soaks the bottom half of their legs. Ghoul’s skin is icy pale, snowflakes unmelted on his cheekbone, but when Alex brushes their fingers over his jaw, pushing snarled dark locks out of his face, one of his eyes slits open. “...’Lex?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex inhales shakily. “That’s me, I’m here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Y’ look beautiful.” His eyes fall shut, and then open again with visible effort. He reaches up with one of the wings — one of his </span> <span class="s2"> <em>arms</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>,</em> hand pale against the feathers that’s framing it — and ghosts a trembling thumb over the edge of their face. “I really wanted t’ come see you. I wanted to, ‘Lex, I tried. I jus’—“ he draws a long, unsteady breath, letting it out in a slow rush of air. “I couldn’t leave. ‘M sorry.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ghoulie —“ Alex tries, but chokes on the words. “Ghoulie.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul breathes another long breath, like it’s hard for him to do so. His eyes slide shut again, though he keeps talking. “So. You may’ve noticed ‘m sort ‘f cursed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex’s answering laugh is fragile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was this one guy, at...at my old job. He didn’t like me, ‘cause I got him fired, for takin’ stuff from th’ labs and selling it. But ‘nstead ‘f, y’know, slashing my tires or whatever, he somehow gets me an’ my whole family cursed.” His closed lashes flicker against his translucent skin. “Dunno why I ended up th’ way I did. ‘T was supposed t’ be th’ kind ‘f curse that kills you.” A tear trails its way down his cheek, freezing before it hits the ground. His next sentence comes out barely above a whisper. “Family died ‘n a car crash. My parents, an’ my grandma, an’ my little sister. An’ maybe...maybe that’s part ‘f it, that I have t’ be alive still an’ remember. I don’ even get t’ remember my name, but I remember that. An’ instead ‘f dying with everyone else, I get stuck with this cliché bird-by-day, human-by-night deal.” The laugh he huffs can barely be classified as such, it’s so strained at the seams. He shifts one of his huge raven wings in the snow. “‘M sorry I didn’t tell you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex chokes on what feels like a sob. “‘S okay, Ghoulie. ‘S okay, it doesn’t matter, ‘m here now, okay?” He draws a hand over Ghoul’s shoulder, where the feathers sprout over the limb, fanning out in an oil-slick rainbow. It’s chilly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul’s next breath is barely noticeable, trailing through his lips in a white cloud that fades the next second. “I think ‘m dying, ‘Lex.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex fumbles for his hand, squeezing it between both of their own, trying to bring some warmth back to it and pretending that they aren’t shaking like a leaf. “No, no, don’ say that. ‘S okay, okay? I won’t let you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s alright, ‘Lex,” he whispers. He raises his free hand, running the backs of his fingers against the hollow of their cheek. He takes another shallow breath, eyes turning towards the sky, where the moon is hanging in a thin crescent. “I miss seeing th’ sun. ‘M glad I got t’ meet you. My sunshine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex reaches up to press Ghoul’s hand against his face. They can feel hot tears prickling in their eyes, and press their lips together so they won’t tremble. “I wish I coulda helped you,” he whispers, and means it though that’s not what he meant to say.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul smiles for the first time that night. “You did, don’ worry.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex shudders. “Ghoulie, you can’t die. You can’t, I — “ they bite their lip so hard they taste blood. “I love you, you can’t, I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul blinks up at him, lashes sprinkled with snow, wide-eyed. His hand clasped in Alex’s tightens. Then he smiles again, and it’s wider, eyes softening and warming like a spark was lit behind them. “I love you too.” He cups Alex’s jaw in his palm, and they kiss him, they can’t help it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It starts warm, and gets warmer. Alex clings to Ghoul’s hand and the front of his black jacket, where the wings have ripped through and shredded the fabric, hanging in ribbons against his chest. He kisses back, slowly, at first, and then stronger, like he’s thawing out, and he goes from being half-sprawled in their lap to gripping their shoulders to actually sitting up, arms wrapped around their neck, palm warm where it’s spread between their shoulderblades. He leans away with a gasp, shuddering against where Alex is holding him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alex.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ghoul’s voice is stronger, grip tightening in the back of Alex’s hoodie. Alex looks up, and Ghoul still looks woozy, but color is flooding back into his face, cheeks going flushed pink, and when his fingers tighten even more, Alex notices that the feathers are gone. It’s just his warm arm pressed up against their side. Ghoul looks back, lips parted slightly. “I remember my name.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He leans up, kissing them hard, and all Alex can do is cling back and try to breathe around Ghoul kissing him like he’s dying. Except he isn’t, anymore, is he? He breaks away to ask, but before he can catch his breath, Ghoul murmurs, “You saved me,” and </span> <em> <span class="s2">beams</span> <span class="s1">.</span> </em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex feels a little winded. “Yeah?” they say, and almost wince at how wrecked their voice sounds. Ghoul tangles his hands in their hair, pressing their foreheads together, and he’s smiling, smiling the whole time like Alex is the most wonderful thing he’s ever seen.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yeah,” he says. “I remember my </span> <span class="s2"> <em>name</em> </span> <span class="s1"><em>.</em> ‘S Damien, ‘Lex, that’s my name. Fuck, I can’t believe I </span> <span class="s2"> <em>forgot</em> </span> <span class="s1">.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s pretty,” Alex breathes, and Ghoul — Damien — laughs, bright and happy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“My fuckin’ hero,” he whispers, and kisses them again. “I love you,” he murmurs against their lips, still curled up almost in Alex’s lap. “You’re brilliant and beautiful and you </span> <span class="s2"> <em>saved</em> </span> <span class="s1"> me. I love you, ‘Lex, sunshine, </span> <span class="s2"> <em>thank</em> </span> <span class="s1"> you.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“God, baby, I love you too, you have no idea,” Alex manages to choke, and crushes their mouths together again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a soft knock on the door, while Alex is getting the last pin slid into their hair, but it isn’t until Anya answers and exclaims, “Damien, darling!” that they eagerly turn away from the mirror. Damien is smiling in the doorframe, suit a little askew.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anya ushers Jamie and Marie from the room, winking over aer shoulder as they do, and then they’re alone, the bustle that’s been constant the entire day fading with the disappearance of their friends down the hotel hall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex sighs happily and leans up into the touch when Damien comes to stand next to them, kissing the top of their head. “Hey.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi.” Alex can’t help but smile, reaching to gently smooth his lapels. “Isn’t it bad luck for us t’ see each other before th’ ceremony?” he teases.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Damien laughs, swinging his leg across their lap. “I wanted t’ see you. Besides,” he leans in to kiss them softly. “You’re pretty lucky in my books, so it balances out.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alex isn’t ever going to get used to smiling as much as they do when Damien’s around. They tug teasingly on the strand of hair hanging in his face. “Did you run out on Diego an’ Charlie?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shrugs, grin going a little impish. “They can live without me for a bit. ‘M practically ready anyways.” He does look pretty fully dressed, in his dark suit with glossy lapels and silver tie, hair brushed to a shine but still swept across his eyes, a small section braided back above his ear that’s almost certainly Diego’s handiwork.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“An’ you look beautiful, baby,” Alex murmurs. They ghost their knuckles down the side of his face, watching his eyes flutter closed at the touch. “I still have t’ do my makeup, but ‘m mostly ready too.” They breathe out a shaky breath, heart thumping. “We’re fuckin’ doing this. Finally.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Damien leans down, kissing them sweet and slow, with a hand on their jaw, and they can feel his pulse thumping steady, almost against their mouth. In only a couple hours, they’re going to be doing this as spouses. When they break away, Alex relays this fact to Damien, and he laughs brightly, pressing his forehead to their shoulder. “‘S not gonna be any different, ‘Lex. ‘S still gonna be us.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But it is, baby, th’ principle of ‘t is different,” Alex insists, though he’s smiling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe,” Damien replies, smiling into the fabric of their jacket. He yanks gently on the fabric feathers along the seam of the sleeve, running his fingers over them and down Alex’s arm. “Are these in good taste?” he asks, playful. His eyes twinkle. “Whoever picked this out is awfully insensitive.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a doofus,” Alex says primly, and kisses his cheek. “You’re the one who said it’d be funny.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“An’ it is,” Damien says, the corners of his eyes creasing with humor. “‘S our own private joke.” His expression softens, then, and he brushes Alex’s hair over his shoulder, running his fingertips over the back of their neck. “Love you, ‘Lex. Shit, I got real fuckin’ lucky.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s my line,” Alex whispers back, and presses him back against the vanity, fitting their mouths together again. </span>
</p>
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